What is with the bank drive-thru teller up-sell?

I went through the bank drive-thru on my way to work this morning.  I drove right up to the little magic tube that takes your money.  I was greeted kindly with a “Good morning.  Welcome to <bank name>.  I responded with a “hi” and proceeded to load my deposits into the container.

Yes, I really did have everything prepared before I got to the bank.

As I was loading my deposits, another car pulls into the “Commercial” lane.  A few minutes later the car leaves and the teller asks, “So, just making a deposit today?”  “No.  There are two checks on the deposit slip and I would like to cash the other”, I say.  “Oh, yeah.  Ok, I’ll take care of that.  I’ll be right back.” 

After a minute or so, the teller returns and asks, “Mr. Schatz, do you have a computer at home?”

Ok, here is where I get off this little crazy dance floor.  Why in the world is he asking me if I have a computer at home.  Is he thinking that I might be one of the 24% of Americans that doesn’t?    I don’t think so.  I’m sure that he wanted to inform me of the online access to my accounts that is available.  Great, but I’ve been doing “online banking” for quite some time.  If they really did want to serve their customers better, the teller would have already known that.

I guess I was most annoyed because I knew something like this was coming.  Each time I go to the drive-thru, the teller tries to sell me some new service: credit insurance, identity theft insurance, new money market checking account, auto insurance, etc.  It’s getting to the point that going to the bank is like going to Jiffy-Lube.  By the way, I only went there a couple of times before I got tired of the “pcv valve” up-sell.

Anyway, the whole point of a drive-thru is that it is quick.  That’s why I use them.  Just like the self checkout line at the grocery store.  If it’s going to help me get out quicker I use it.  There are many people that complain about the tendency of businesses to become less and less personal.  I agree with that in some instances.  In fact, one of the dumbest customer service moves I’ve ever seen is the checkout lanes at our local Menards.  The employee is on the same side of the counter as the customer.  It makes for a really odd interaction with the employee either with their back or side facing the customer with almost zero face-to-face interaction.

Oh, and what was my answer to the guy at the bank?  “I’m sorry.  Could I just get my receipt and go?  Thanks.”